Saturday, November 10, 2012

Greatness in Great Ones Must Not Unwatched Go

I despair, at times, with our parochial society of penurious puritanism. Two fine patriots are now officially excoriated in the ethos of our nation - David Petraeus and his lover, Paula Broadwell. Petraeus is a downright hero, but not many people know that Paula graduated from West Point, served in the reserves, achieved the rank of lieutenant colonel and was the director of a counter-terrorism
think tank. Both worthy human beings. But because emails were analyzed by the FBI, the General felt a need to resign his position as the Director of the CIA. And Paula is taken down into the mud by unwanted press scrutiny.

Alright, it was the so-called 'honorable thing to do' for the General, and sorry, Mrs. Petraeus, that you're on the short end of the stick. But people - all people - have personal failings in my life. Even I have loved two women at the same time ... imagine. But for a valued general - an intrinsic component to our national security - to feel forced to abandon ship ... it is saddening.

I reckon the President did what he thought was right in accepting the general's resignation, but I would have preferred a different response: "General. Sir. I respect your decision in resigning your very important post, but the country cannot afford to lose you. You have proved yourself too able and essential to our country. Get a room next time, and don't email the chick ... but you, sir, are invaluable and I must ask you to return to duty, apologize to the wife and keep on defending America and the free world at large. You're not the first great man to be distracted by a hottie like Paula. Get over it and be Great!"

In a way, we need more Bill Cintons in the world - leaders who we know are great even when their penises, always guided to the true polar north of sexual opportunity, get them into mischief. A man's personal foibles should not be thrown into the petrie dish of combined superior assets and achievement and thus to be judged too harshly for the relative insignificance of those foibles.  David in the Bible had another man killed so that he could have at it with his wife, Bathesheba.  Did history look at David and vilify him?  No.  He knew how to kill giants with a sling and extol God.  Was Franklin D. Roosevelt demonized for his affair, while Eleanore dealt with the indiscretion as best she could?  No.  Roosevelt obliterated the Great Depression and killed Nazis.  Was John F. Kennedy regarded harshly for screwing everything female while married to Jackie while in the White House?  No.  He was remembered for bringing us out of the shadow of nuclear oblivion through the Cuban Missile Crisis and incentivizing us to go to the moon.
Point is, I wish we'd get over the whole 'well, Petraeus showed himself to be a deceiver and an unfaithful husband' bullshit.  He's helped kill evil jihadists that murdered 3,000 of our people on September 11, 2011 and up until yesterday, was assisting in taking down more of these scumbags. A man's personal life should not be a reflection on how he executes his duty and destiny - particularly when that duty and destiny is to keep America safe.
Abraham Lincoln was once approached by his cabinet about General Ulysses S. Grant. They said: "He's a drunk." Lincoln replied: "Maybe so. But he wins battles!" QED, my friends, QED.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Political Shenanigans Aside

I rarely remark on things political, but this time I will, because it gives me the opportunity to make a positive observation.  Whatever one may think about President Obama or Governor Chris Christie, one must hand it to one and both that they've come together for the sake of the embattled state of New Jersey for the best possible of causes - that poor state's reconstitution and rehabilitation.  I have an ex-girlfriend, someone I stay in touch with and who lives near the Jersey shoreline, and she says that conditions there are still fairly prehistoric.  No doubt, casualty numbers will continue to rise as the seas recede.  It is my hope and prayer that assistance provided will come quickly and restore normalcy as soon as possible. It is also my hope, notwithstanding political cynicism, that this bolsters or inspires some kind of future bi-partisanship between two polar opposites in the Republican and Democratic realms of decision-making.  While I may be a registered Republican, it is my belief that President Obama will win re-election at this point in time; the electoral college alone has all but mandated this manifest destiny.  No doubt, the Democrats will retain control of the Senate, and I further believe, the Democrats stand a good chance of prevailing in the Congress.

Bottom line, like most of the country, I hope this all leads to progress for our great nation.  The economy is still in need of a jump-start and our old adversaries in Al-Queda are clearly still up to no good in the Middle East and northern Africa (among other parts of the globe).

My prayers are with all of those folks on our Eastern Seaboard.  Please share in those prayers for the safety and healing of all our fellow Americans in that tormented landscape hit by Queen Bitch of Ms. Hurricane 2012 - Sandy.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Free Download of new Science Fiction Novel - Desert Angels

Hello, folks:

I've already introduced my new book, Desert Angels, but for those who check in, it is now available today, Thursday, September 27 - ONE DAY ONLY - for free on Amazon/Kindle.  So hurry and check it out.

My next book, PETER AT THE BAT, takes a stab at domestic terrorism and is not unlike Die Hard in many respects.  Non-stop action, ruthless villains, a conflicted hero.  But there are some uncomfortable laughs as well, and violent radical Islam is spared nothing!  Look for this book to be published on or around October 15 of this year.

And for those who have been patient, my November/December novel will be a sequel to the highly successful GRAY AREA, which I introduced back in April of this year.  Lou Diamond picks up where he left off, a year following his exposure of a Neocon sub-division of the DOD, working in tandem with certain terrorist nations for profit.  Having laid low in Mexico for two years, he returns to Los Angeles, seeking work at what he does best:  Kicking ass on bad guys wherever they may be found.

Thanks - and thank you all for a very successful first six months since I've started this crazy publishing business.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Nuclear War, Reincarnation and some String Theory

I have just published my new science fiction adventure novel, Desert Angels, on Amazon/Kindle.  This is a book, which like Whatever Gods May Be, was written in the 1980s... almost 30 years ago, when, as the Brothers Four once put it in their song, And The Waves Roll In:  "when the fish were thick, and I was young and strong."  It was my second outing out as an author, penned in 1985.  I have updated the book somewhat - yet the times seem not to have changed that much. The inciting incident to the story is world war, which takes place initially in the Middle East, with Iran causing all sorts of problems vis a vis Israel, and shit stirred up in general in contiguous nations.  The story takes place a few years in the future, as there is reference that some nations in South America have somehow acquired nuclear weapons, or have perfected a nuclear weapons program.

After the war, our hero, Jack Calisto - a kind of Omega Man - represents the last normal human being on the planet ... inasmuch as he's not suffered from radiation poisoning or mutation.  The world has gone topsy-turvy in this world; the normal rules of physics sometimes do not apply, and there are zombies galore, along with reincarnated wives who come back to help Jack in this nutty post-nuclear environment. Though there is plenty of action and sci-fi scenarios for the most ardent of science fiction Neocons, there is also at play a certain Ray Bradbury-like magical realism that the reader must simply accept.  At heart, I believe Desert Angels is a tragic love story.  You will see what I mean once you have read the book.

For those who have mentioned the word "sequel" in your reviews, yes, in 2013, a sequel to Mars, The Bringer of War will be released.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Introducing The Man Book



It seems like forever since I first came up with the idea of writing a book that explains everything a modern man needs to know to be happy. The first kernel of an idea began, as with so many of my inspirations, with a cocktail – which in and of itself isn’t unusual, I suppose. Be that as it may, I was on a flight and was chatting with a young lady who seemed mystified as to why her fiancĂ© (she pronounced it Fhay-an-ce, like Beyonce with a ffff and an ay) didn’t respond to her ideas and thoughts as she hoped. As I imagined her plunging 32 thousand feet to her death, or alternatively, someone driving an ice pick through my ear to end the suffering, I thought, “Why is it that any man would listen to this for more than five seconds?” That led to another cocktail, and soon I was mentally sketching out the idea of a primer for men, lest any other male ever have to endure what I did for that two hours of living hell.

And so The Man Book was born into the world. It’s a very funny book, in the way that watching someone else get into a car accident or walk down the aisle is funny. But more than that, it is a book that will make me easily the most hated man on the planet to the female of the species. And that will be undeserved, because all I am doing is explaining why modern men are unhappy behaving like neutered housecats. And yet I know that the outrage from mannish women with bad short haircuts and a sincere belief that the planet would be better without men, or with only a few for artificial insemination purposes will be loud and immediate. I shall treasure each and every one star, foaming at the mouth review I get, and wear it as a badge of honor. Because ladies? The world isn’t anything like what you think it is. While you’re driving the Explorer a man invented and engineered, talking on your cell phone that a man designed and conceptualized, on your way to the beauty salon to have products invented by men applied to your hair while you complain about what a dick your husband, who wishes for death like a Labrador wishes for a squeaky toy, is, men are building the roads you drive on, crafting the medicines that will keep you alive, and figuring out how to get you to buy more crap nobody in their right mind needs.

That’s the world. And men. That feeling of emptiness and despair you feel as you trudge through your modern life? It’s a feeling that is completely unnecessary. I’m here to bring you news of freedom. You don’t have to feel guilty about being a man, with all that implies, any more. I’ve written a book that even the slowest among you can grasp, that will tell you how to be happy and fulfilled. And yes, strippers are often involved. But there’s so much more to tell. So much.

Without any further ado, I would ask each and every one of you to order it via Amazon – a company run by a really smart man, and download it to your computer or Kindle (which was designed by a man), and then discover what you’ve been missing. If you don’t like it for any reason, you can suck my fat dick, but more importantly, you can get a refund, which you can spend on getting your chest waxed or whatever you’re into.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

God? Good? Evil? Or Random Horror of the Universe

Like most of America - perhaps most of the world - I was horrified by the acts of the 'thing' I refer to as James Holmes, who mowed down 12 people in Agoura, Colorado, and injured 59 others in a movie theater last week.  I've been asked by friends and family more than once:  Where was God?  Why did he not stop this horror?  To which I reply consistently:  I don't know.  Perhaps we are not supposed to know ... or if there is a reason behind it, it is beyond our comprehension and not our business to understand.  Personally, it is the only answer I can live with.  Evil is alive and well in the world, and it, more than occasionally, wins.  My books generally revolve around the battle between good and evil, and in those books, sometimes evil triumphs.  We either accept this as a reality of human existence or we go quietly and slowly insane.  Fortunately, Man's constant friend and companion, alcohol, can ameliorate the horror of evil's sometimes victorious nature.  I say this only partially in jest -- but we all cope with incomprehensible acts of evil in our own very private way.  While I do not generally advocate the death penalty, I find myself hypocritically hoping that they fry this James Holmes freak.  I will forgive myself this piece of hypocrisy in the short term.  I am too near the horror ... as I believe are we all.  God bless the families of those who lost loved ones in that dreadful imbroglio last week.  And God bless America - let us see that this kind of violent horseshit does not happen again.  That is, to the best of our ability...

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Time and Analysis on Amazon Algorithms - Mixed Nuts

I waited until this last free promo on two of my books to weigh in on anything worthy re the matter of Amazon and free promotionals of indie authors' books, both new product and old.  I did so because I have received a very mixed bag of nuts in terms of returns and in terms of what has already been stated (or gloomily predicted and analyzed thus far) vis a vis free promotionals and revenue from book sales and if indeed, as illustrated by some, the landscape for the indie author is presently as lifeless as the lunar surface.

To begin, and again, others have analyzed the problem far more exhaustively than myself; I refer to those parties and analyses attendant thereto in the following:  The excellent blogs on the subject by Russell Blake, Phoenix Sullivan and Ed Robertson can be referred to for in depth analysis.  As I did before, I include the links now, in order, for comprehensive nuts-and-bolts commentary on the algorithm shifts/sales. For Russell Blake:  http://russellblake.com/how-it-works/; For Phoenix Sullivan:  blog on the topic here; and for Ed Robertson: nice rundown on the evidence.

I released my latest book, The Last Harem, on a 2 day promotional almost two weeks ago.  The genre is very specific and perhaps damning in terms of any kind of book-buying audience.  It was placed by Amazon (and myself) under Rich and Famous, as it dealt with a famouse personage of royalty and my ex-fiance; it was also an autobiography.  It had no place under mass appeal genres like straight fiction, romance, science fiction, or mystery.  It was niche to the max.

Thus far, sales have been disappointing.  Can I blame the algorithm shift by Amazon on dismal sales?  Perhaps.  Or perhaps it could just be the subject matter of my book which few people show interest in availing themselves to.

In the past 48 hours, I have completed a 2-day promo on past books, one a hard-boiled mystery, Gray Area, and one, a young adult fantasy, The Last Elf.  Both books upon their initial introduction into the world proved enjoyable re sales, particularly, the hard-boiled Gray Area.  This is Area's third intro as a 'freebie' item, and it has surprisingly, as of this morning, already sold almost 50 books, and is in the top 100 of Amazon best-selling hard-boiled mysteries, 12 hours after the 2 day promotional has ended.  Conversely, The Last Elf, has not enjoyed one single sale, despite good reviews and an audience which, at least in the movie world, is more than alive and well.  Witness this past week's enormously successful film "Brave."  Same age range that the Last Elf targets.  Yet my sales are negligible in the same genre.

My conclusions?  Well, the algorithms have affected all indie authors, admittedly also by those indie authors of considerable success.  Fine, we can't get around that.  But, as one of my favorite indie authors stated:  If we're expecting to get rich by writing, it's a lousy reason to write.  Bottom line, we should write because we love to write - we need to write.  And it is why, despite this time of relative algorithmic privation with reference to our sales success, we must continue to write. 

I believe these hard times will pass.  Something will change, new marketing devices will be found that will assist us all in increased marketability promise.  In the meantime, we ride out this current tide of difficulty, and mush on.  Writing and selling books is hard, hard work.  It is not an easy businesss.  But that is what makes the whole game great. 

So buy another one of my damned books, mix yourself a martini (or tea, if that be your demonic beverage of choice), buckle up, and get back to the keys.

And don't forget to walk your cat.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

The Amazon Shift - Algorithms

It is apparently true that the Amazon shift in its algorithm policy has affected sales for most indie authors.  I am feeling the results personally.  While my April and May months were relatively stellar for a first time author on Amazon, this month, June, is proving less than spectacular.  This is a very brief note, as I will devote myself more fully to an analysis once my new book, The Last Harem, debuts tomorrow, June 7.  If sales prove disappointing, once I initiate a free download promotional on the book, new approaches to generating revenue from my books will have to be considered.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Things Change - The Only Guaranty In Life

So, for all you indie authors out there, you no doubt are feeling the effects of Amazon's recent change of policy and protocol vis a vis free downloads and the alteration of the ubiquitous algorithm.  Bottom line, that shift force and effect by Amazon has led to reduced sales for all indie authors, yours truly included.  I shall not belabor the theories behind it; there are excellent blogs on the subject by Russell Blake, Phoenix Sullivan and Ed Robertson that can be referred to for in depth analysis.  I include the links now, in order, for comprehensive nuts-and-bolts commentary on the algorithm shifts/sales. For Russell Blake:  http://russellblake.com/how-it-works/; For Phoenix Sullivan:  blog on the topic here; and for Ed Robertson: nice rundown on the evidence.

Bottom line, free download promotionals no longer bear the same fruits for actual sales that they did several months ago, due to Amazon's recent actions concerning the promotionals.  Is this a reason to cease utilizing the free-download thing to market your books?  No.  Simply do not expect that multiple-orgasm response to prodigious selling of your product, post-free phase.  At least for repeat product intro into the marketplace as a free entity.  I will be uploading a brand new book to Amazon in the next week, called The Last Harem, and will still take advantage of Amazon's free-promotional venue.  I shall then report if this algorithm shift is as viable for new product as it is for old.  I simply do not know and hope it is not.  If it is, clearly, we indie authors must find other resourceful means by which to market our books.

Is all of the above - and inter-related blog input - cause and reason to despair?  I think not.  As Sullivan alludes in his above-blog, Amazon could again adjust its policy in 30 days to our advantage, and all that is articulated today regarding algorithms could change in that above-stated time frame.  But let's say that does not happen.  Let's say that Amazon is like a bad girlfriend who takes forever to come, and does not help indie writers again enjoy the auspicious days of recent old wherein free promotionals guaranteed massive pyroclastic flow of profits in the aftermath.  What do authors like you and me do to increase sales, or at least maintain a healthy stream of revenue from existing product? 

Well, for one thing, we must find alternative routes to marketing.  Twitter is critical, so is Facebook, and half a dozen other mechanisms for reaching out to the masses.  Also, local radio airtime for exposure, if you have access to it, cannot hurt.  For those of you with disposable bling, television ads are good as well.  I personally believe that the secret to maintaining a steady stream of revenue is to produce more product.

In her recent NY Times article, correspondent Julie Bosman describes by way of a best-selling author, Lisa Scottoline, that the public is like a huge maw that needs to be fed constantly (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/13/business/in-e-reader-age-of-writers-cramp-a-book-a-year-is-slacking.html?_r=1&ref=juliebosman).  That in fact, the author who wishes to produce only one book every year or two may quickly be rendered irrelevant and forgettable.  Which means, we as indie writers, must look to a future where we actually increase our output, rather than just maintain it.  For example, I am currently finishing up two novels to be released in June and July (in addition to The Last Harem) and will augment those books with three other novels I've started, and an anthology novelette.  In this way, I can be assured of a new product introduced into the marketplace at least once every month for the rest of the year.  Why kill myself and aim for this goal?  To feed the public beast of need; the old precept of supply and demand is in full force and effect with the KDP Select Amazon has offered us.  I would advise all my colleagues to look to writing, writing, writing, and publish lest you perish, at an accelerated rate.

You might say:  "Won't that haste in increasing output jeopardize the quality of work generated?"  No.  Don't let that be the case.  Work assiduously, utilize an editor, defy traditional nay saying that to work in haste makes waste.  Stay on the public radar; continue to twitter; continue to Facebook the planet.  Become friends with a celebrity, even better, be caught in the headlights of a scandal with a celebrity, preferably oddly sexual (John Travolta's recent 'gay' harassment issues immediately leap to mind).  Become famous.  Save the planet from space aliens.  Do anything - just stay visible regarding your work. If we follow that mandate, we cannot fail.  Conversely, slack will lead to lack, and unless indie authors step up to the plate willing to accept a hopeless schedule of writing 24/7, mucho hours per day, there is little chance that those writers will sell well, let alone make a marginal profit.

I'll let you all know what happens with The Last Harem.  Now, please, in the words of one of my favorite authors, go out there and buy my shit.  If I have to cease purchasing Grey Goose vodka and drink that urine of a libation, Popov, again, I may just do a Hemingway and leave it all up to the Almighty.

Thank you for reading.  And thank you for not smoking.

 

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Vampire Trends and Remakes

I went to see the movie, Dark Shadows, based on the original series in 1970 - a Dan Curtis production.  Great thing about the old series was that it was cheesy beyond belief, and production values were non-existent.  In some episodes, you can see the production assistant shadows and the boom coming into frame.  Hokey, but forgivable.  The acting, too, was borderline dreadful, certainly ludicrous.

Tim Burton's lush remake of that series suffers none of the original show's appalling gaffs.  It is a piece of visual perfection, augmented greatly by a grand score, courtesy of Danny Elfman.  Johnny Depp is predictably unassailable as Barnabus Collins, the titular head of the Collins family that dates back generationally more than 200 years.  He is, of course, a vampire, cursed to the rank of undead status by the beautiful bitch-kitty witch, Angelique, who both wants to fornicate him to death (real death) and destroy him simultaneously.  Add to this the element of an amusing dysfunctional family - the Collins clan of 1972 - and you have a film which is both fun to view, and fun to contemplate, in terms of 'what the hell happened to this bloody family to make them so fucked up.'

Answer of course, is the family curse.  Ghosts, werewolves and vampires are de rigeuer for the Collins familia, and such things are accepted in due course.  After being  forced to watch so many television vampires of late - all of whom appear vaguely sexually detached or ambivalent - yet all telegenically perfect, it's nice to see a vampire movie that doesn't take itself so seriously, and even embraces its own loopiness.  Barnabus Collins, though clearly a genius unto his own right, nevertheless awakens to the year 1972 and muddles through with a kind of pleasant gormlessness that makes you love him even as he slaughters innocents by the dozen to slake his ubiquitous hunger for human hemoglobin.  All other performances are equally laudable.

As I reintroduced my own vampire novel, Monster Vice, back to Amazon, with our old friend, Dracula, I applauded Dark Shadows for what it was:  sloppy fang pleasure, guilty to the extreme.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Humor and Harem Girls

I've just read two very entertaining books that I recommend, both dealing with different subject matters.  One will keep you howling with laughter, the other will be food for thought and make you wonder if life in a modern day harem is all that bad.

First book is Bill Maher's "The New New Rules", a follow-up to his highly successful "New Rules", and is nothing short of genius.  He is able to offend most everyone and most every subject, no matter what side of the political or religious spectrum one may be on.  And yet, his observations, in my opinion, are right on.  Now my opinion is subjective:  I greatly enjoy the Bill Maher show on HBO, as much as I enjoy Bill O'Reilly's Fox show "The Factor".  One occupies the left of center, and one the right.  Both are compelling, and both are well executed.  But Bill O'Reilly's humor and mine, simply don't gel.  Bill Maher, on the other hand, has me screaming with the funnies.  Each of you must decide if his humor is for you or not.  But it is well written, notwithstanding where stands your sense of humor.

The other book I've just completed, and I tweeted on it some weeks ago, but now wish to compliment it again on the blog, is "Some Girls" by Jillian Lauren.  It's her true life experience within the Sultanate of Brunei, as a harem girl, back in the early 1990s.  It is filled with the predictable sexual encounters with royal personages, outrageous sums of money offered as gifts, and hostile byplay between Jillian and the other 'haremites.'  But it is extraordinarily well written, and it makes one wonder if all harem girls must be Mensa candidates, so impressive is Ms. Lauren's style.

Do check both books out.  My next book, The Last Harem, will be introduced to Amazon in late May.

Friday, April 20, 2012

The Art of Whoring

Just a quick note to one and all:  My humble offering of both parody and satire (sometimes not mutually exclusive), The Art of Whoring - Adventures in Prostitution - goes free for one day, tomorrow, April 21.  It is like no other book you've read or will read - I guarantee you that!  This book was turned into a script by yours truly and we begin shooting July 1, with locations both in the U.S. and Mexico.  I will co-direct with veteran producer/director, Yakov Bentsvi.  Yakov produced my first film "Bloodgames" in 1989.  We're aiming for an early 2013 release.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Aliens, and Vampires

Most of you are familiar with the introduction of my science-fiction novel, Mars, The Bringer of War.  It made its way into cosmic awareness in early March.  Now, almost five weeks later, I will be offering another free download of this book for your viewing pleasure.  Our sales were unexpectedly - and happily - high. I am now in process of writing the sequel, which will pick up in-flight back to the Milky Way by our hero, John Mars, currently in cryo-suspended animation.  What he finds upon awakening, however ... will be devastating.

I am reintroducing Monster Vice, released one week after Mars, The Bringer of War, because ... after a day of free downloads to the tune of more than 3,000, Amazon pulled one of its unintentional bug-a-boos by pulling the book from availability. By the time it was restored to the market, the download algorithm essentially evaporated, and many of you simply didn't know about the book's debut.

Monster Vice, to be frank, is my kookiest book to date.  It brings back everyone's favorite vampire, Dracula, who is now part of a futuristic police force called Monster Vice (attached to the Los Angeles Police Department).  Except, he has rearranged the lettering in his name and is known to friends and enemies alike as Curadal.  He teams up with the story's alcoholic hero - a veteran of Monster Vice - to expunge the plague of monsters that run endemic in the world.  Dick Pitts has a myriad of problems - the drink, a bad attitude, an odd relationship with a murdered prostitute who haunts him in a very sweet way, and the fact that he's been 'bit' by a vampire, and is constantly susceptible to turning 'fang'. His only deterrent is activating a neuropeptide in his body, called Prolactin.  This component exists for real (google it) and is produced during orgasm.  Thus, Pitts must either auto-stimulate himself to ejaculation every 24 hours, or be assisted by some sympathetic young woman to achieve the same result.  It sounds easy, but Pitts is always getting into trouble and oftentimes forgets about this prophylactic necessity to warding off vampirism.

Monster Vice is a horror story, but my readers will laugh outright in many places.  Free promo this Wednesday and Thursday, April 18 and 19.  Enjoy.

Monday, April 16, 2012

A Man and his Dog

For the past year and a half, I have come to know an old, homeless man (whose name I never got) who is accompanied by an old dog (whose name I did get -- Bullet).  Bullet was by no means named for his fleetness of paw and spirit.  He looked like a cross between a pit-bull and a lab, and limped noticeably.  He clearly had considerable age in his hind-quarters, and was never able to keep up in stride to the old man.  Whether the old man was Bullet's owner, or simply a companion ... I may never learn.  The old man is semi-articulate, a product I imagine of combined age and mental degradation; I do know that the old fellow is not drug addicted nor a drunk.  He simply wanders the neighborhood, and he and the old dog sleep together out in the open.

I write about this duo because I was touched by the simplicity of their daily lives, at least as they respectively appeared to me.  The old man walked, the old dog followed.  They stopped on occasion, rested, ate and drank (the old man enjoyed the occasional Dr. Pepper I proffered). 

One day, I found a very touching sight:  the old man was cleaning old Bullet's ears.  Bullet, in his dog-like way, semi-growled appreciation -- itchy ears for a dog is a bitch to deal with; I know this from owning a German Shepherd for ten years, and nothing he liked better than a good scratch, Ringo did he!  The old man cared for the old dog much in the way an old man might care for his equally aged wife, or vice versa.  Some would say that perhaps the relationship between man and dog was symbiotic merely; the man needed the dog for company, the dog needed the man for food, water, and the irrevocable ear-scratch.  It is not a theory I buy.  I feel, though I have heard the old man grumble at Bullet on occasion, calling him 'slow-poke' and 'old cur', that the fellow really loves the dog. And in his inarticulate way, the dog, Bullet, loves the man in return.  What they have, I believe, is more than what many folks have in a lifetime.

And then one day ... Bullet disappeared.  I found the old man, who I had occasionally given money to, or bought something for he and Bullet in the past, outside of a 7/11 near my house.  I asked where Bullet was.  The old man simply waved off the question, as if dismissing me for my presumption and curiosity.  I have not seen Bullet since.  Was he dead?  Had man and dog simply separated, and is Bullet now on his own, or worse, consigned to the pound?

It may not be a tragic ending.  But I do not know.  The old man is not forthcoming with what has happened to his canine companion.  Bullet remains MIA.  And I am saddened by his absence.  I can only hope that one day, he reappears ... for now, he exists only in my memories.

Monday, April 9, 2012

To you Kitty, Lou Diamond living on the edge!


Though Gray Area has been published now on Amazon for a few months, it makes its formal debut into the marketplace by way of a two-day promotional, this Wednesday and Thursday, April 11 and 12.  It is a dark, brooding piece about a former Marine/Lawyer who now works undercover for one of the LAPD's violent crime divisions.  He takes on the job of trying to find out who killed two attorneys in his brother's law firm, and meets one of the feistiest vixens since Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct.  I've converted the book into a script, and am having the agents concurrently market it with the intro of the book.


Gray Area was a very personal novel for me.  My main character is severely alcoholic, and I myself have wrestled with the 'gentle grape', as 'twere.  He has lost his wife in the most pedestrian of ways - killed while taking cash from an ATM - and cannot even function around his very young daughter due to his grief.  He's able to keep his job because he goes deep undercover on missions where primarily he has to look like a drug addicted and/or drunken loser.  There is no humor in this for him - he understands what he does best:  To nail bad guys by being among them.  The story's opening sequence inspired me because, as a former paralegal, I worked in a firm where two attorneys were caught - and fired - for aardvarking in the library. 

The novel uncharacteristically took two years to write, and is not for the squeamish.  There is a sex scene in the book that will not quickly be forgotten.  I plan on a sequel to this book, because, as you will discover, Lou Diamond is a fascinating example of a life gone terribly wrong, but even so, a life that struggles to stay relevant and meaningful.

I dedicated this book to the special woman in my life who continually reminds me daily that I am special to her and continually pushes me to capture the life of the character and go for more.  To you, Kitty!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

My Mom Made Me Do It, Officer!

The Last ElF
The Last Elf, though on Amazon/Kindle now for about a month, has not really been given a proper birthing by way of a free download day ... or much mention on my part at all.  No particular reason for this, other than this is a little experimental gem I created awhile back which I shall follow closely in the marketplace.  Experimental, I say, because I mainly devote myself to adult science-fiction and genre fiction (with the occasional non-fiction entry into the world).

My mother was so enamored of the Harry Potter phenomenon that she would harass me continually with dog-chase phrases like "Why can't you write something that child-friendly?" or "That Harry Potter stuff is so sweet" or my personal favorite "All you write about, George, is vampires, killing and outer space."  True, mom, you had me there. 

What I'm most pleased about in The Last Elf, though I kept it focused in the world of children, and from a young adult's perspective, I believe I retained a certain darkness to my piece which is endemic to the human condition.  Children die in this book - at least so my little child-ghost, Jennifer tells the world.  Elves were butchered long ago by the Dark Elf. And there are lessons of self-sacrifice that even children must embrace, sometimes at an early age ... and when least convenient or expected.

My mom passed away August 13, 2009, but her prodding and wishes prevailed, and she was able to read The Last Elf when I finished it just a short time before her death.  I never really tried to market it after publication.  Now with the advent of Amazon/Kindle (at least to me) my little tween fantasy of elves, brain-eating snakes, a friendly and grumpy dragon called a Bandanglesnort, and a capricious wizard, comes to full circle. I hope that all of you enjoy it as much as my mom did.  Thanks for the read.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Whatever Gods May Be/Hot Young Teens Killing One Another in "Hunger Games"

First off, my new novel, Whatever Gods May Be, goes for one day free, tomorrow, Wednesday, March 28, 2012 on Amazon/Kindle.  You'll have fun with the book; giant scorpions who try to save Mankind, and a little girl who may or may not be the daughter of God.  No spoilers in this blog.  Read the book.

Secondly, I saw "The Hunger Games", based on the best-selling young adult book by Suzanne Collins.  The movie was, quite frankly, very, very good.  Long, but did not feel that way at all.  Jennifer Lawrence, the young lead, is bitch-kitty hot, and a fine actress.  Stanley Tucci looks fetching in blue hair; and Donald Sutherland as the President is fine, if looking a tad bored, like his expression says 'okay, I know I'm lucky to be working, but when's lunch, and I gotta pee?'  Elizabeth Banks is unrecognizable behind bizarre white-face make-up in the ilk of the underground weirdos in Don Johnson's early opus into science fiction, A Boy and His Dog.  Die hard sci-fi fans will know exactly what I'm talking about; the rest of you - it will not matter - The Hunger Games is a five-star winner.  Excellent set direction and casting.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Paid Strange and the return of Dracula

Many of my friends have asked me over the course of months and years:  Why write a book on whoring?  How can you make the world a better place by de-pantsing men everywhere for their extracurricular activities with tanned, young strumpets who want nothing more than to subsidize their college tuition with a little extra coin?  Why create a tome that women can point to and say "See that?  You are a cheating bastard!" Why tell of our dirty little secrets?  Why, why, and again, why? 

I reply once more that the book was written to amuse and edify, not endorse a particular way of life.  I'm not recommending that you, Bob, go out and tap-dance in the lillies of paid strange, or you, Kyle, tell your wife to piss off, and then go pound Dusty like a tom-tom.  No, sir.  I merely wanted to entertain and elicit a chuckle from my readers.  Are we not weary of pedantic politics?  Do we not smart and weep in the face of so much horror in the world - murder, rape, child abuse, genocide?  The list goes on.  So, please, when you read the book, read it in context to what is transpiring across the globe at large ... and realize it is an attempt to bring a philosophical smile to your otherwise pulverized visage due to the slings and arrows of life, and the random nightmare that is sometimes referred to as human existence.

On another note, I undertook to bring my recent novel, Monster Vice to life, because I wanted to explore a different take on Dracula, and offer some scientific plausibility for the appearance of monsters on the planet, which include vampires, werewolves, demons from hell, trapped ghosts, succubi, and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.  Dracula in my book has altered his name to Curadal (rearranging the letters in his name as such), ultimately revealing his true identity to our hero, Detective Dick Pitts of LAPD's Monster Vice.  Dracula maintains his reputation was buggered by Bram Stoker, his friend at one time, and that he is really a very gentle vampire, who lives off the blood of pigeons or coconut milk (due to its plasma-like isotonic properties).  The story follows Pitts, now partnered with Dracula (also an officer in Monster Vice) to track down a Master Vampire who is consigning children to eternal undead-ness.

The hook in Monster Vice - again assailed by some of my friends and colleagues - is that Dick Pitts was once bitten by a vampire, and the only way he can forestall his ultimate transformation into a 'fang' is to induce ejaculation once every 24 hours.  There is a scientific reason for this, and it lies in the neuropeptide called Prolactin.  Prolactin (and you can google this) is released into the body upon orgasm.  The theory behind Pitts' affliction is that only a body-flush of prolactin can ward off his impending 'change'.   Thus, he needs either sex, or its closer, and more lonely cousin, masturbation, in order to remain human.

I kinda liked the take - I was tired of crosses, holy water, silver bullets, and sunlight, being the only means by which to render vampirism null and void.  I much preferred my hero having to spooge himself silly to survive.  The mechanism in the story is rather amusing, because Dick Pitts oftentimes must tackle the Flogging of Freddy himself, and there is always a ticking clock against him.

So, there is my explanation to one and all on both books.  And in the words of Edward R. Murrow, good night and good luck.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

New Science Fiction Adventure


I'm very happy to announce that Whatever Gods May Be is now published on Amazon/Kindle. It is a new science-fiction novel that spans a million years, give or take a century - from the time of Christ to a million years hence - on an Earth ravaged by plague, lingering radioactivity from a world war long forgotten, and populated by mutated vampires under the control of a monolithic bad ass called The Resistor. Into this madness of the future are thrust four accidental time travelers: two astronauts, a giant scorpion-like being called a Thelerick and Rizzdik Zolan - an anthropologist studying Earth from a planet 1,000 light years away. Their mission, if possible: Save Earth - and Mankind.

The book was written in 1983, when I was 24 years old, so holds a special place in my heart. Some may call it faith-based science fiction and stronger adherents to the genre will simply call it science fiction, with room for God-stuff to ponder. I thank you all in advance for taking a gander at Whatever Gods May Be. Remember, that no life lives forever, that dead men rise up never, and that even the weariest river... winds somewhere safe to sea.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Mutant Vampire Zombies From The 'Hood' Trailer

John Carter Review and an observation on free promos for KDP select

I took in John Carter this past Saturday evening, the 3D Imax experience, in Century City, California which borders Beverly Hills. I was fortunate that I did not encounter massive crowds; surprising because according to the IMDB (International Movie Data Base), John Carter came in this weekend at No. 2 at the box office, garnering some $32 million dollars, and a good chunk of change overseas. But lo and behold, I was able to obtain prime seating. The film thus far has received lukewarm to moderately okay reviews from so-called professionals; as an avid sci-fi enthusiast, I would like to consider myself a fair observer to science fiction fare in general, be it film or novel.

Edgar Rice Burroughs created John Carter even before Tarzan, a hundred years or so ago. The movie, I think, rather cleverly utilizes Burroughs as a character in the movie, and ostensibly, the autobiographer to John Carter as a real human being that lived, and chronicled his journey and adventures on Mars (Barsoom)to the locals. Some criticized the murky beginning to the film, but I rather enjoyed the luxury of getting into the Carter character, an ex-Confederate soldier, dealing with the aftermath of the Civil War in 1868 (3 years after the war ended), antagonistic ex-Union soldiers out in the west killing Indians, and bloodthirsty Apaches. All this preamble to the main story leads John Carter (Taylor Kitsch is the appealing actor) to a cave where he is transported some 40 million miles to Barsoom for kicks and giggles and a helluva lot of swordplay with the natives, and some slap and tickle with the planet's feisty princess (played by the very attractive Lynn Collins) of Helium (the token democratic city on Mars that is looking out for the welfare of the planet in general).

The plot can easily be discerned by checking out
www.imdb.com, and I shall spare the reader needless details of story. Suffice to say that hardcore science fiction buffs will not view this movie unkindly. The CGI is rather spectacular, enhanced by the 3D facility, and surprisingly (for me) the acting was above par, for this kind of matinee tent-pole extravaganza. To be frank, I did not recognize the film's only two journeyman stars, Wilem Dafoe or Thomas Haden Church, under all the 'Thark' make-up. Tharks, by the way, are 14 foot tall natives to Mars that boast wild boar-like tusks.

Disney spent a helluva lot of coin to promote the picture, and spared nothing in production as well. Kitch as John Carter does a fine job as the young, tragic hero who has lost a wife and child in the Civil War, and suddenly finds his butt transplanted to Mars. To complicate matters, he falls in love with the one and only dateable pneumatic princess on the planet - the fetching Princess Dejah Tharis. This fable, at its heart, is a love story, between Carter and the Martian princess, with a backdrop of two opposing cities at war for supremacy over the planet. This will probably be a franchise, and a good one. I highly recommend that you all give it a gander.

On a final note, I tried Amazon's free promotional opportunities to re-introduce my science fiction novel, Mars, The Bringer of War, this past weekend. The book was offered, again, as free for one day. Mars enjoyed over 3,000 downloads, and I thank all the readers for their interest. Please feel free to comment, good, bad, or okay, as your sensibilities dictate. The promotional resulted in Mars currently occupying the #22 position of top 100 Amazon science fiction novels sold over the past five days, so I believe these promos work (this commentary is made mainly for 'newbies' to publishing on Amazon, not for veterans, who already recognize the benefits of free advertising).

My new book, The Art of Whoring, Adventures in Prostitution, is ending its free 2 day trial today, which commenced on March 14 (this past Wednesday). It is unlike any book you'll ever read or have read. The download response has been terrific, and unexpected, given the no-holds barred subject matter. Not for the meek of heart

Friday, March 9, 2012


I wanted to drop a very quick note on the roll-out of my book Mars, The Bringer of War. By roll-out, I mean the opportunity to download and read the book for free, this Saturday, March 10. I did not want to misrepresent to my readers that it is in any way, shape or form about the planet Mars, ala John Carter. The main character in my book just happens to be John Mars, the oldest astronaut in the fleet. But I do have a private fixation on Mars, something that has been an obsession of mine for some time. I do not believe I am alone. I actually wrote a screenplay dealing exclusively with the planet Mars, which I called, Olympus Mons. I tweeted on Olympus Mons a few days back. Olympus Mons is the highest mountain - or volcano, to be precise - in our solar system. It rises 110,000 feet above sea level - or, rather, Mars level. It is, of course, inactive, but if you were on top of this mountain looking out over the Martian landscape, you would actually see the curvature of the planet. To get some further perspective, a commercial jet airliner cruises at an approximate altitude of 30,000 feet, and Mount Everest is just under 30,000 feet at 29,895 feet high. So, picture (or imagine) a geological force of nature three times higher than these two references. Olympus Mons can actually be viewed in photographs taken from Mariner, and other probes we've sent to Mars. I shall endeavor to push the screenplay here in Hollywood, but am also contemplating turning it into a novel. Two years of research went into the script - from Martian vulcanism to Martian topography. In any event, I hope you all enjoy Mars, The Bringer of War ... and John Carter, which opens today, March 9. I'm told that the Edgar Rice Burroughs created this character some 90 years ago, the story still holds up. Little trivia to end this blog madness: John Carter was created before Tarzan - ERB's most famous character. P.S. Here is a link to some photos of Olympus Mons on Mars

Amazon Kindle

Saturday, March 3, 2012


Here's the bookcover in all its glory.
Here's the link to my books, for those who have interest. Amazon. Thanks.

George P. Saunders is happy to announce the up and running action of his new website at GeorgePSaunders.blogspot.com.  My newest book, The Art of Whoring - Adventures in Prostitution, is now available on Amazon.com, the Kindle edition.  There will be a free dowload within 48 hours for those of you who have interest in a very misunderstood and romantic subject.  This is my first shot at blogging, so I'm keeping it simple.  I simply wish to make an announcement at this stage of the game that we're up and going.  One of my latest films, in a very different genre than whoring, is now in worldwide distribution, an action adventure/UFC fight driven picture - Supreme Champion.  So, that's it for now.  More on whores and action in the coming days.  Thanks all.